“So you will be gone next weekend? But we had this girls weekend set for months now.
You can’t be at the wedding? Honestly, isn’t there anybody else that can go on this site visit?”
Over the last 15 years those kind of questions occurred frequently and my family and friends got used to fact that they would be healthier and easier for them not to get to excited for me to come and visit already days before. They would rather start to get excited when I actually made and stood in front of them.
Also, I am pretty used to the fact that things change all the time. We would be planning a job and felt like we just had figured out everything when we had to learn that the whole concept needs to be changed, the event day would be re-scheduled or the scope of work doubled overnight.
It sounds a little sad and of course I was also disappointed when I had to cancel over and over again because I knew I would disappoint my peeps as well as I was mad myself that I missed out on a lot of great and fun things with family and friends.
But on the other hand I loved loved loved loved my job and everything that came with it, I felt very responsible as well as flexibility, spontaneously and last minutes changes where part of my occupation, so to say a required skill set to do my job.
Furthermore I am a planner. I am not planning everything to the very little detail and I can also go by the flow but I like having an idea of what the next week might be looking like or let’s say maybe even the next two weeks. Most of the times I also need to plan because I like doing things ( a lot of things) and there is never enough time to do it all, so I depend on a little bit of an overview to make sure I don’t forget things and it doesn’t get too chaotic.
That being said it almost felt meant-to-be when my doctor told me that I will have to have a c-section giving birth to my little Lucy. It took me a minute but then I thought “wow this is perfect”, I can get all my things done I wanna get done before and I have the date in my calendar and I can almost prep a little work-back-schedule”. As crazy as it sounds it almost felt like having a fixed event date. I assumed it could get a little stressful before and probably I wouldn’t be able to get everything done, but that was okay and typically. Also: When are you ever done? If there isn’t a fixed event date you would keep planning and changing anyways. Long story cut short I had a long to-do list starting from mani / pedi to homework for my little start-up #BeActiv, the #lebookproject, spending time with friends, making time for myself and my husband, waiting for my step daughter to arrive in Portland and many many more. The more things I put on my to-do list, the happier I became that I have that fixed date.
And then came the last weekend in April which also occurs to be my birthday weekend.
The weather wasn’t not as nice as it normally is on my birthdays and we were getting stuff done at home as part of our to do list. We felt very good about everything and happy that life seemed so organized and under control. It brought me joy and I was in good spirits.
This weekend was followed by Monday May 1st, a scheduled 8am doctor’s appointment unveiling the fact that little Lucy had decided to enter our world the same day. Not even 1 hour after the appointment I found myself on the labor and delivery floor and not even 12 hours later I was mum to little Lucy which couldn’t be more perfect.
The whole time I am thinking: This must be payback. This is because could always schedule things the way I wanted. I was head of my schedule and I more or less could make my own timing decisions. They weren’t always my favorite things to do, but they were my decisions in the end of the day.
But not with Lucy. I learned that lesson pretty quick. So to say as of day 1.
For me there couldn’t be a better quote than the one I picked for the head line.
LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE MAKE OTHER PLANS.
Of course I had planned to prep a few blog posts before her arrival, get all my paperwork done as well as to do so many other things to be “ready”. All good intentions but I what can I say: I wasn’t ready.
And you know what? It was totally okay not to be ready. All the things on my to do list that I believed where so important lost their priority right I was holding her in my arms for the first time.
Almost 3 months later I am now slowly but surely catching up with stuff.
I managed to get all the back-end work of my blog done, our #BeActiv trailer (I owe you a story on this one) is ready and went live two weeks ago, I got to hang out with a lot of friends and family and my to do list I was working on before giving birth is more or less taken care of as well. Check.
I do things in different orders now, I multitask differently and our schedule has totally changed, but I can still get things done, which feels great to me. I love it.
We couldn’t be any happier about our little Lucy. She is just perfect and although she is the youngest and still the smallest member in our entire family, she already rules.
Although she keeps me busy during the days and up during the nights, it nevertheless feels like I have so much time right now. I can decide in the morning to be at the coast in the afternoon, we can shift to do’s to the next day if we spontaneously hang out with our neighbors having a bbq. The pressure and the aspiration to get as much as possible done in one day is gone. We are celebrating the little things, her developments and the life we have. I don’t have a day scheduled full of meetings and emails I have to answer that every same day. It feels pretty good, maybe like a sabbatical.
Being aware of the fact that this special time that won’t come back and that I will have and want to go back to work at some point I am really embracing the longest vacation of my life right now. I am happy that Lucy has told me even more to live the moments, that LIFE IS NOW and that you just have to go by the flow.
Having that said it’s amazing to see our friends and family over in Germany this summer.
We got here 3 weeks ago , will stay for another 4 weeks and we are looking forward to a legendary time.
Of course I am still bad when it comes to doing absolutely nothing so I am making some time for my #lebookproject as well as I am remotely supporting #beactivpdx (more about that to come soon on this blog) but all other than that I am overly excited that I have sooo much time that I can spend with my family and friends without the trying to balance the business and private life as well as the fear that I might have to leave for a last-minute business trip or the stress of constantly checking my phone.
Let’s see what the next 4 weeks have to offer and what life and little Lucy have planned for us while we are here. I love to spend time with family and friends and I enjoy the fact that we have some family weddings and birthdays coming up that I for sure won’t miss or be stressed out about it at all.
I am so excited about this journey on so many levels and I am more than grateful for all the lessons my little Lucy, our little bundle of joy that is so helpless and so powerful at the same time, has already taught me and how she has helped my to shift #perspective and #priorities.
See you around and enjoy your summer. I will keep you posted about ours!
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